


Why Did You Have to Leave?

by JaceOfSpace



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! 5D's
Genre: Angst, Attempting to cope anyway, Coping, Emotional Hurt, Flashbacks, M/M, Nightmares, Toolshipping - Freeform, Yusei's a sad and lonely man
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-13
Updated: 2020-03-13
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:08:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,929
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23123011
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JaceOfSpace/pseuds/JaceOfSpace
Summary: Yusei's having a hard time letting go of the past and accepting Bruno's death. His coping mechanisms aren't great; he knows this. He just wants Bruno back.
Relationships: Bruno | Antinomy/Fudou Yuusei
Comments: 5
Kudos: 21





	Why Did You Have to Leave?

**Author's Note:**

> The transcription for the flashback dream was taken from the Crunchyroll subtitles, so please forgive any inconsistencies with other subs.
> 
> Thank you to [@Bi_lithiumcrystals](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bi_lithiumcrystals/pseuds/Bi_lithiumcrystals) for beta reading for me!

_“Bruno, jump over! Hurry!”_

_Yusei thrust his hand out to Bruno as pieces of Bruno’s D-Wheel flew off and were sucked into the dark abyss of the black hole the two men had been swallowed in. The acceleration of Bruno’s D-Wheel was rapidly decreasing, but Yusei could feel his heartbeat rapidly increasing. He could feel it pounding in his ribcage, like it could burst out of his body at any second. The roaring of blood in his ears was nearly deafening; he could barely hear himself think. ‘God, please let Bruno live.’_

_“It’s pointless,” Bruno stated, his tone as calm and level as ever. How could he be so collected in a moment like this? How could he be so calm when he could die? “I told you. One of us has to vanish in order to escape this course.”_

_Yusei couldn’t accept that. Bruno deserved to live. He had to live. “Bruno!” Yusei couldn’t stop himself from crying out again. Tears were prickling his eyes but were almost immediately dried by the wind whipping in his face._

_“The time I spent with you all was the best,” Bruno said with a soft smile gracing his features. He looked so happy and content, even in the face of death._

_“Bruno…” Yusei couldn’t bring himself to say more. He wanted to scream, ‘Please, please don’t do this! We can escape together; we can make it. Please don’t leave me!’ Yusei’s last thought shook himself to his core, his pulse felt like it shot up even further._

_Just then, Bruno’s expression shifted to something much more serious. Yusei couldn’t see what was happening, but he could hear the acceleration of Bruno’s D-Wheel kick in once again._

_“What are you doing, Bruno?” Yusei’s voice was shaking. ‘Please, don’t do this…’_

_“Yusei, you’re my hope! Accel synchro surpasses light!”_

_No. No, no, no, no, no, no. ‘NO!’_

_“Surpass the light and open the future!”_

_Yusei wanted to yell, to scream. He couldn’t just leave Bruno behind like this._

_Bruno pushed his D-Wheel even further, accelerating and getting even closer to Yusei’s bike from behind._

_“Go, Yusei!!!” Bruno gave his D-Wheel one last push, his helmet and vizor flying off as he sped faster and faster towards Yusei. They’re bikes collided, and Yusei felt his entire body jolt forward as he was propelled into the light. Passing the barrier, he heard Bruno’s bike give out, shutting down completely after being pushed so far beyond its capabilities in its already damaged state._

_Everything stopped. Yusei couldn’t hear anything. The roar of his blood, the revving of his D-Wheel, it all went silent. He turned back to Bruno and could see the sparks and smoke flying off Bruno’s bike. He could barely even make out Bruno’s form through the debris._

_Suddenly, Yusei could hear again. What was he hearing? There was so much panic and dread coursing through him that deciphering anything going on around him was a challenge._

_“Bruno! Bruno!!” Oh. That sound was his own voice. His own screaming. It shouldn’t have caught him as off guard as it did, but he felt no control over his own body in that moment._

_Finally, the sparks died down. Yusei could see Bruno smiling, the softest look of fondness lighting up the man’s eyes. Yusei felt like he was truly seeing into Bruno’s soul at that moment, could feel every emotion coursing through Bruno’s mind. Despite the literal sparks flying in his face and smoke stinging his eyes, Bruno looked so at peace. Yusei knew that Bruno felt like he made the right decision in saving Yusei like this, but Yusei still couldn’t accept what was happening. He cared so deeply about Bruno and couldn’t bear the thought of leaving him behind to die like this. But it was out of his control. Bruno made his choice and, especially at this point, it was far too late to go back and change anything._

_Suddenly, Bruno’s D-Wheel completely burst. Smoke and flames completely engulfed Bruno’s body, the explosion hiding any trace of his existence. Yusei’s eyes went wide, completely mortified over the fact that he just saw someone that he held so closely for the past several months disappear in the blink of an eye in a thick cloud of smoke._

“BRUNO!”

Yusei shot awake. He was sitting up straight at his work bench, his face wet and throat sore and raw. He felt completely disoriented. Wasn’t he just escaping the blackhole with Bruno? Why was he home? He shouldn’t be here right now!

_Wait, no._ It was that dream. Again.

Yusei brushed his cheeks with his fingertips, feeling the warmth and wetness of freshly shed tears. He had been crying again. His breathing was labored; Yusei closed his eyes and swiped the tears away, trying to center himself on the present moment and level his breathing.

_It’s been years since that happened. It’s all in the past. It’s not my fault that Bruno is gone. I still have the rest of my team. The world is safe. I am safe. I am okay._

Grounding himself after that nightmare was always the hardest. Something about the present felt so lonely. He still had the team. In spirit; they were so far away, and it was hard to cope with the distance at times. He was the only one left in the city. Yusei could never tell them that though; he didn’t want them to feel bad for living their dreams. It was fine that he was alone like this; their happiness was too important to him.

Tears were streaming down Yusei’s face once more. Damn, he was getting too caught up in the spiraling negative thoughts again. He needed something more distracting.

Yusei stood up from his stool and walked over to his computer, moving the mouse to wake it back up and work on the last program he left open. His hand propped up his head while he waited for the ancient thing to load. _I should really look into upgrading this dinosaur soon._ Thoughts of computer shopping swarmed his mind; the models he could browse, the processors he wanted, what year he needed for his work.

The jingle of his computer booting up snapped him back to the task at hand. He opened the most recent program he had been working on.

_Shit._ He forgot that’s what he’d been doing before. Yusei ran his hands through his hair, feeling an odd sense of shame flow through him. The file name read “Bruno 2.0”.

Yusei buried the feelings away, attempting to hide any and all emotions related to the project and got to work writing lines of the program. Somehow, this felt mindless enough. Clicking between windows to learn how to properly code an android.

No matter how many times he came back to the project, something about it always felt wrong. Yusei would never try to recreate Jack or Crow or Aki. He could definitely never try to turn the twins into a series of numbers and letters. Why was he doing this to Bruno?

He knew Bruno was sentient, that he was more than just code and mechanical parts. He didn’t even know Bruno was an android until the end. Why did it feel different to do this?

Something in the back of Yusei’s mind said this was completely justified. Bruno—or Antimony, really—didn’t exist in this time period. At this point, he might not even exist in this timeline. And he was sent to fulfill a mission: protect Yusei. Maybe Yusei just wanted that protection back, even if he was never aware it was there in the first place.

But still, it felt wrong to do this. Trying to recreate someone he loved. Yusei knew he loved Bruno. He loved Bruno the same way he loved the rest of Team 5D’s, but there was also something special between the two.

He could still remember the first time he kissed the other man; the softness of his lips, the warm breath on his face, his hand on the back of Bruno’s neck and Bruno’s hand gently cupping his face. There was still a fondness there of the memory; it was exhilarating to share an emotional and romantic bond with someone like Bruno. The two just clicked so well, and Yusei fell for Burno quickly after he, Jack, and Crow took Bruno in.

But even with that fondness, something about their relationship and even just their bond felt… artificial. Yusei knew it was real; he knew that what Bruno felt for him was real. But learning about Bruno’s—Antimony’s— _ugh_. Learning about his former love’s history and motives left a weird residual feeling of discomfort in the back of Yusei’s mind. To be fair, Bruno didn’t remember his mission or assigned purpose. Yusei assumed there were lapses in Bruno’s memory, considering he never mentioned anything about saving Yusei or being Antimony until they were in the Ark Cradle.

But even with everything that was revealed, despite everything that happened, Yusei still loved Bruno. And he desperately wanted the man he fell in love with back.

Yusei really sounded like an evil scientist, didn’t he? He almost laughed to himself at the thought. This is exactly what a mad scientist or necromancer would be doing in one of those shows Lua and Luca kept recommending to him. Trying to revive a lost love whom he should just accept he can’t have back.

Having Bruno back like this wouldn’t feel the same. It would just feel artificial and clearly be a machine of his own design, made to cater to his wants and needs. There would be nothing human about Bruno 2.0, only what Yusei programmed into him based on his own perceptions of and experiences with the other man.

Yusei could feel sadness welling up inside himself again. So much for this getting his mind off things. He wasn’t even focused on the coding anymore; his fingers were frozen on the keyboard and the last few lines of code he had typed—however long ago that was—were sloppy. He deleted the indecipherable code and saved his progress.

He checked the clock on the corner of his screen. 2:23 AM. God, he needed to sleep, but he knew if he tried to sleep now, he would be kept awake by his ever-spiraling thoughts and probably have more nightmares. Yusei needed something even more mindless to distract himself if he ever wanted his brain to shut up tonight.

Stretching his arms above his head, Yusei decided he would finally start that show Lua and Luca kept urging him to watch. Opening the web browser, Yusei typed in the username and password to the streaming site the twins let him use and searched for the show’s title. He clicked on the first episode and let the intro run while he got up and grabbed a cup of ramen and put it in the microwave.

He trotted upstairs and yanked a blanket off his cot and skipped back down the steps to open the microwave just as his noodles finished heating up. Placing the cup down in front of the computer, Yusei sat back down in his chair and wrapped the blanket around his shoulders, pulling his feet up onto the chair and inside his blanket cocoon. Picking up the cup noodles once more, Yusei tried to relax and focus on the show, hoping he would be able to let himself relate to the hero of the story rather than seeing himself in the villain.

**Author's Note:**

> This is far from a perfect fic, but I hope you enjoyed reading it anyway! Please let me know what you think <3


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